Happy Two Months, and One Long Day

This Thursday marked Maddie's two month milestone! I've tried to take a few pictures this week to capture her in this stage. She has so many different expressions, and they all make her look quite different!

Thursday was also the first day that I was away from her so that I could go to work. I had a certain meeting in the afternoon in Brooklyn, and I decided that since Dave was already staying home to look after M., I should hit my Manhattan office in the morning as well. I missed M. a lot, but she was spending all day with Dave, so I didn't feel bad about that! The day went off without any true disasters; it was just exhausting. I don't think I had really reckoned with what it means to have to pump at work, especially when you have a schlep like mine. Here's what the day's schedule looked like:
5:30 am: M. wakes up to nurse. It's too early; we both go back to sleep.
7:15 am: I wake up again, get ready for the day.
8 am: Pump
8:30 am: Leave house for train
9:30 am: Arrive in Manhattan office, settle in
10 am: Pump, then frantically read 70 student evaluations
12 noon: Pump
12:30 pm: Leave Manhattan office, on subway frantically type up major themes from evaluations to discuss for next year
1 pm: Lunch in Brooklyn with lead faculty member to debrief on summer and plan for next year, rush to subway to Brooklyn office
3:15 pm: Arrive at Brooklyn office, pump
3:40 pm: Arrive 10 minutes late to meeting
5 pm: Dash out of meeting, grab milk from student lounge refrigerator, get on subway
5:35 pm: Narrowly miss the train to Long Island, frantically write letter of recommendation while waiting for next train
6:07 pm: Get on train home
7:10 pm: Walk in the door, immediately nurse, say hi to Dave
7:30 pm: Dave leaves to go to his own work to finish experiment for subject, doesn't come home until 4 am that night

Phew! I hadn't realized how much time it takes to set up and take down the pumping equipment, find a private place to pump (I have have a shared office in Brooklyn), store and retrieve the milk, wash the pump parts, etc. Plus, I spent 4 hours of the day just in transit, whether on the LIRR, subway, or walking between destinations – I'll probably try to limit myself to one campus per day in the future. I wish there were something I could do about the commute time, but I think we've already optimized that for the foreseeable future.

But I got to stay home and recover on Friday, and I am only going to work one day a week for the next several weeks. What is it like doing this 5 days a week? Or what does it feel like if you don't feel comfortable with your childcare arrangements? What if I didn't have such a supportive husband? I can't really imagine. No wonder moms are so exhausted! No wonder women give up on pumping, or give up on work altogether. I have been obsessively reading thinkpieces about motherhood and work, mothers in academia, the "baby penalty," etc. for years, but only now am I starting to see how complex all of these choices are...

Family Reunion 2016

We just returned from a lovely three days at my family reunion in upstate NY. This is my mom's side of the family, and there are a lot of us – over 60 made the trip for at least part of the week! We only caught the second half, but I'm so glad we had that time together.

The reunion was held at Camp-of-the-Woods, a Christian camp/retreat center in the Adirondacks. It was such a relief to escape the August heat at home and find ourselves in the cool mountains on a beautiful lake:

Dave and I even got to take a canoe out on the lake for a few minutes, while my cousin Jennifer took care of M.:

There was time for chapel, musical performances, family sharing, and athletic events. Dave played some 2-on-2 with my cousins; while they all fortunately avoided serious injury, Dave reports that he had never felt so winded before. Let's just say that no one is getting any younger.

And of course, we were thrilled to introduce little Maddie to her relatives. When we first walked in, a horde of children descended upon her:

And simultaneously arose a parents' chorus of, "Do not touch! Do NOT TOUCH the baby! Hey, did you hear what I said? Put your hands down!" Hahaha! Maddie endured the adoration with equanimity. One of my favorite moments: she got to meet the oldest member of our extended family, my Auntie Grace's mother, who is over 90 and whom we all call Po Po. Immediately afterwards, she met Rebecca, Po Po's great granddaughter, who had previously been the youngest in our clan.

Rebecca was very friendly and immediately recognized a kindred baby, pointing at Maddie and leaning over to look more intently.

As much as I enjoyed our trip, it was a little challenging. We were trying to adhere to an external schedule (mealtimes, meeting times) for the first time, while adapting our sleep arrangements to a new environment. I also just didn't really know what I was doing – I pumped more often for bottles for M., but then my body got out of sync with her hunger, leading to a lot more discomfort; the weather was either too hot or too cold, and I didn't know how to dress her; I completely forgot to bring a cap for any of her bottles, etc. Maddie was pretty good, but she did have one evening of inconsolable screaming, which alarmed me to no end. Here she is after she calmed down, feeling comfortable with her grandpa:

Our next family reunion (apart from weddings) is likely four-ish years away. Imagine how different M. will be by then! I'm so glad everyone got to see her when she was just an infant. And even though it was a bit of a hassle to travel while she is so young, I think it was good for me. Yes, we got a little off-kilter because of the travel, I leaked breastmilk on my shirt in public, we all lost sleep, and felt totally exhausted at the end. But now I feel a measure of confidence: all those things happened, and we still survived! So maybe I can leave my safe cocoon and controlled environment with M., and even when things don't go perfectly, it's still all right. This whole first-time parent thing sure takes some getting used to!

$$$Taxpayer Dollars$$$

This week, I finally walked over with Maddie to our local public library and signed up for an account. As I opened my wallet, I realized that the card slots were mostly full, and I'd have to move one card to the reserve/little-used interior pocket in order to make room for my new library card. With a pang, I demoted my New York Public Library card – a symbol of my urban intellectual life, the place where I conduct research – in favor of my Mineola card. Sigh. (Though I should note that this goes to show that I haven't used my NYPL card in months anyway...)

The good news is that my local library is pretty cool! Look at all the swag they've already given me:

I'm pretty sure M. doesn't need so much external encouragement regarding early literacy (lol, I'M HER MOM), but it's still nice to receive the support. After all, the property taxes in our county are OUTRAGEOUS, so I feel like I should use the library resources as much as possible.

To that end, M. and I attended our first "lapsit" class today. It's geared for 4-month-olds to 2-year-olds, so M. is totally too young. But I was invited to sign up, and so we went, and M. slept or stared at the ceiling while we sang songs, recited rhymes, and flapped our arms around in unison. Actually, I think she enjoyed hearing the sounds of other babies crying, laughing, and babbling. Plus, it's nice to get out of the house and walk to the park/library. As the months go by, I'm sure I'll find new ways to get my taxpayer dollars back from the library!

Action shot of M. spitting out her pacifier

Growing Things

Our baby is growing and changing every day. What a joy it is to see this little person doing her thing! It's hard to capture the way she looks, since her expressions are always changing, and also, she has no neck. Can't wait for her to start smiling!

While Maddie has been growing inside, I'm supposed to be growing things outside. My mom brought us a planter with herbs and some cherry tomatoes, to supply us with summer foods. Alas, as you probably know, I have a black thumb and have never succeeded with plants. So far (and it's August), the tomato plant has yielded a LONE TOMATO. Here it is:

In this case, the harvest is pitiful, and the workers are...cute (forgive me).

Even worse, as you can see from the picture above, I let it overripen on the vine! Nevertheless, a sweet mouthful to be enjoyed. There are still many green tomatoes on the plant; let's hope they ripen soon, and that I remember to gather them!